When I started blogging, I was in my thirties and going through the most health changes I’d experienced since childhood. I had a hysterectomy, oral surgery, ankle and Achilles surgery. Not to forget, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.
Now in my forties, I can sincerely say, I’ve learned so much about myself and my body.
That season after my third (and last) child at 30 through 40, took a lot and gave me much. I often mention that I’m in thoughtful pursuit of my north because I love and need personal growth. That decade, probably the hardest of my life so far forced me to stop and listen. I was missing a big lesson and learned the hard way. Everything was go, go, go with children, marriage and a full-time job. The Universe, however, had greater plans and I look back with sincere appreciation. You know the saying, “things could’ve been worse”? Well, they most certainly could’ve which is quite humbling.
The biggest takeaway was how much I was abandoning myself. All this led to changes and I began leaning into the challenges and embraced caring for my total self without feeling guilt. This meant intentionally caring for my changing body and evolving soul. Listening more and paying more attention uncovered different layers of my state of being. As I tuned in, I started to feel better.
Now, I feel more in-tune with my authentic self. If this is what “growing old gracefully” means, I’m in! I won’t sit here and say that everything is always peachy. However, there’s a sense now of being more connected and less attached, so to speak, and that must count for something.
Honestly, the hardest part is still staying disciplined and consistent in doing things I tend to put off “for later”.
Insert, self-care.
Self-care is defined as the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress. I failed so many times in the past to do just that. Life taught me what it looked like when I didn’t give self-care the importance it deserved.
In this post, I simply want to share how I do self-care at fortysomething. Here’s some insight into what is working for me.
Wellness – Make routine check-ups and medical appointments a priority. Don’t wait by putting the needs of your body and mind to the side like another chore. From eye exams to dental and annual physicals make the appointment! I try taking the day off from everything to focus on a “health day” be it with a doctor or therapist.
Writing – Need I say more? I’ve always been passionate about writing and self-expression. Communicating is important to me and writing allows me to channel my thoughts and feelings. It’s cathartic and to me a form of self-care.
Meditation/Frequency/Prayer – Whatever your preference, making time daily to pause and connect with your body and soul is necessary. I find strength and respite in all three. Breathe deeply and release things that weigh on you. Relinquish what is out of your control and recharge. I like sound frequency particularly for insomnia and inflammation in the body.
Nourishment – Eating is huge for me as I think food is my love language. I enjoy cooking a recipe I’m excited about and researching how to make healthy versions of my guilty pleasures. Like most, I love sharing a meal with a loved one but, I equally love the ever-important solo dates. Nourishment comes in many forms and this list is truly about nourishing every part of yourself. If you believe that you are what you eat, and what you put in is what you get out, nourishment is paramount in self-caring.
Walking – Daily outdoor walks with my dog is so therapeutic and necessary. The connection with him gives me something routine to look forward to that helps us both decompress and connect with nature. Staying active in general is necessary so if walking your furry friend is not an option, yoga, cycling, Pilates or rowing may be worth looking into.
Beauty – I mentioned in other posts the connection with beauty rituals and a personal sense of well-being. I strongly believe that if you look good, you feel even better. Beyond the routine manicure and pedi, some of my musts are routine facials, a professional therapeutic massage whenever possible, a daily dose of collagen in my coffee and skincare that is made for maturing skin.
Cleaning – This may sound counterintuitive to caring for yourself and trust me, I very much dislike chores. However, I highly recommend decluttering your environment and keeping a healthy supply of cleaning tools and products handy that make tasks manageable and enjoyable. A light, airy, clean, and organized environment does wonders for the body and spirit!
Shop – I mean why not? I’m not saying blow your savings, but retail therapy can be fun, motivating and satisfying in moderation. I like to be practical whilst throwing in the occasional want versus need. Estate sales, thrifting, online marketplaces and even the grocery store can be great ways to shop mindfully. So go pick up a new signature scent or a new pair of sneakers you know you’ll need! Nurturers, we need to be kind and thoughtful with ourselves too.
Grow – I don’t just mean grow as in gardening. Though I could write a whole post about the wonders of gardening! I mean grow as in evolving with a sense of reassurance and perspective. Each decade may come with a new vision for the years ahead and should have you in search of continuous improvement. Growth is essential for the human spirit! One of my all-time favorite books is Stephen R. Covey’s, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It’s a timeless resource in my opinion and one of the habits I sincerely live by is Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw®, which is increase motivation, energy, and work/life balance by making time for renewing activities. We are truly in the era of keeping ourselves sharp with many ways to attain all the things the seventh habit encompasses. Picking up a new craft or hobby, DIYing, reading, or drawing can be fulfilling. You may pick up a new fitness class or any number of online courses to keep yourself sharp! You might even find you can tap into an income source through a newly found passion. Growing as an individual is a quintessential act of self-caring and self-love.
There are so many favorites I can break down and really unpack within each area of self-care I practice. In a future post, we may do just that. For now, I welcome you to check out my curated faves on Pinterest.
My wish for you, for us…(no matter which season of life) is that the relationship with self becomes the most loving and most meaningful we nurture and sustain.
Keep reading for some of my favorite quotes on Self-Care.
“Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” -Eleanor Brown“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.” -Audre Lorde
“Self-care is never a selfish act – it is only good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others.” – Parker J. Palmer
“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.” -Maya Angelou
“With every act of self-care your authentic self gets stronger, and the critical, fearful mind gets weaker. Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side, I am on my side, each day I am more and more on my own side.” -Susan Weiss Berry
Photo credits:
figs_andnorthave.com 