August has been a whirlwind of a month and a wonderful one at that. I went on a road trip from northeast Georgia to North Chicago with my 14 year old and our 4 year old dog. If you’ve been on my Instagram, you’ve seen Pochacco (Choco for short) before and know he loves car rides. I wasn’t sure when I embarked on this road trip if he or my daughter for that matter were going to enjoy it this time around. They traveled on road trips before but this would be the longest trip to date. We’d make stops and overnight stays of course but one just never knows!
The trip was my answer to attending my middle child’s military graduation. I could fly with my little crew or I could board the dog but all of the uncertainties gave me so much anxiety. Not to mention, you never know if a military recruit is going to graduate as scheduled. All the unknowns led me to rent a car and embark on a road trip.
I could’ve taken my car, however, I wanted piece of mind that if something should happen, I wouldn’t have my broken down vehicle to deal with on top of everything else. I also didn’t want to add all those miles to my car. With that in mind, I recommend looking into all your options when traveling with kiddos and your fur babies. Look at everything from the timeline to costs to flexibility. I also categorized what was most important to me when planning. Not missing graduation and having control of as many details as possible were my top priorities. What if I missed the flight? What if something got cancelled? What if I boarded Choco and things went bad? My anxious mind was taking over. Ultimately, I decided driving was doable and needed to prepare a timeline with travel details.
First, I had to figure out where we were staying upon arriving at the destination and the trip’s halfway point. Had I been on my own, I would’ve planned differently. I could push myself to travel farther with less stops. That would not be the case here. So, I decided the first part of the drive would be from where I live in Barrow County, GA to Louisville, Kentucky. That was the initial halfway point keeping in mind this would be my longest trip yet as the only driver (and with my little copilots in tow).
Once I had a timeline of how long it would take to reach the destination, I researched for ideal overnight accommodations. The timeline affects dates of travel and when to book your lodging. Think of what works best for you and your budget. I always prefer staying at any of the Hilton family of hotels because they have many pet friendly accommodations and I earn points for my stays via their Hilton Honors program. I enjoy the Home2Suites, Hampton and TRU by Hilton as my top 3 choices for travel with family. Some of my favorite amenities no matter where I visit are free Wi-Fi, free parking, pet friendly, and free breakfast.
Something worth mentioning is to make sure you inform your financial institution of your travel dates and locations. This way your credit/debit cards will not be blocked causing any woes.
Next, do plan out your gas consumption and possibly invest in a good GPS. I suggest this is because you never know if your phone might fail. You can use a site or app such as Travelmath.This particular app features travel cost and driving calculators which are great for attaining halfway marks and gas cost.
Now that you’ve got your road trip mapped out and booked lodging, do the same for the return leg of your trip. I decided the majority of driving would be on the first day of each leg. For example, I drove to North Chicago with an overnight stay in Louisville on Day 1. I did the majority of the driving approximately 8 hours including pit stops on my first day leaving home. Day 2 was less time but more intense driving as I passed through Indiana to Illinois. On my return home, I did the majority of the driving required Day 1 driving from Libertyville, IL to Bowling Green, KY. The final travel day was my drive from Bowling Green back home to Georgia. In total, we left on a Wednesday and got back the following Monday. My best advice is take your time and plan accordingly.
For road trips with a teenager and a dog, I highly recommend packing a cooler with lots of water, your favorite juice, electrolyte drinks or soda. Additionally, have some snacks in the car such as chips, trail mix, granola bars, cereal bars and essentials for your pet.
Here is our list of must haves readily in reach within the car:
Doggies treats (turkey jerky for Choco and thesecalming supplementjust in case your pup gets anxious or restless)
Some highlights to share include the impressive view off the Big Four Bridge that crosses over the Ohio River from Louisville to Jeffersonville, Indiana. The Fowler Ridge wind farm located in Benton County, Indiana, which has a total capacity of 750MW. It is one of the largest onshore wind farms in the world! We also took in all the majestic views of the different parts of the Appalachian Mountains.
Lastly, pit stops at Love’s Travel Centers with their dog friendly parks and Buc-ee’s are a must. We picked up brisket sandwiches and sweet treats like their fudge and Beaver Nuggets! Their clean bathrooms and fun Buc-ee’s branded goods are worth the stop!
All in all it was an amazing trip with beautiful views, great music, quality time with my daughters and pup.
I hope you are inspired to plan your road trips as we are currently planning our next. Happy and safe travels!
Check out our Instagram for a peek into our summer road trip!
“We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us.” – Anonymous
There’s something about July that signals the winds of change for me every year. It’s my birth month after all and summer is in full swing. A sort of energetic frenzy can be felt in the air with some glowing from vacations well spent while others are miserable over increased temperatures. Many are starting their back-to-school preparations and a palpable longing for crisp weather with endless pumpkin-spiced lattes becomes increasingly notable.
Another trip around the sun beckons my contemplation amidst the chaos of mid-summer every July. Another year older, another year wiser, right? I like to think so, which brings me to this post about intentionally living with the seasons.
I’ve previously written about self-care and goal planning among other topics and seasonal living is an equally worthy subject. So what does it mean to live by the seasons?
Seasonal living can be defined as living in alignment with the cycles and rhythm of nature.
But what does nature have to do with seeking ones north and being purposeful in pursuit of happiness?
What do the cycles of nature have to do with personal growth and wellness you ask?
Personally, I’ve found so much direction when I’ve quieted myself enough to listen to my body and spirit. It’s so easy to get caught up in the noise! Keep in mind our environments are the settings for life after all.
I remember feeling rushed into one holiday after another when simply shopping for basic needs at local stores. I felt like I had to race to every celebration in record time. Not to mention, I easily get caught up in my anxious mind taking on the feelings of others griping over things I had no control of like cold or humid weather. It took so much energy to be in that mindset. There is nothing wrong with accepting things that are out of our control, however, changing my perspective made a big difference. I made a paradigm shift with the understanding that our environment influences how we behave and impacts decisions we make.
Enter seasonal living.
Nature offers life teachings and connects us to our primordial essence. Therefore, I make it a point to gently remind myself that nature offers sacred cycles so we may thrive.
My mother would say, “every person is a universe.” I loved that statement even when its wisdom was beyond my scope of understanding. The older I get the more I understand the universe in me and the Universe to which I belong. Like the astros, nature and our own bodies, respecting phases is necessary. Living seasonally helped me practice patience, balance and gratitude. Living with the seasons doesn’t mean just eating fruit that is readily available or taking up gardening. Seasonal living encompasses so much more!
Here is a perfect definition for seasonal living as described in a post by youaligned.com:
“Seasonal living honors the fact that everything in our world exists cyclically, with each phase giving way to the next in perfect harmony.”
Living in harmony with the natural rhythms of life is powerful and everything my soul desired. I believe it necessary to connect the healing aspects of nature and our own humanity. While longing for the nostalgic moments of life is comforting, living in the present moment keeps me grounded. I could go on about the ebbs and flows of each season but the point I’m trying to share is how aligning with each season has organically improved my life.
There’s an innate calling in seasonal living that I’ve gravitated towards and embrace a little more with every passing year. I don’t want to fight time but rather cherish it. There is no satisfaction and peace for me in hurrying to the destination and missing the journey. I don’t want to rush my body and soul into a pace that is counterintuitive to my existence. Seasonal living allows me to do that. It has been an important part of my personal evolution and this is why I chose to share about it in this post.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely excited for the cooler months ahead! I adore the coziness of the fall and calm of winter. But for now, I am savoring the hot summer days that turn into beautiful warm nights. I will enjoy airy outfits, gorgeous flowers, luscious fruits, refreshing drinks, the humming of birds and whimsy of fireflies. I have sincerely found joy and wisdom with every season of nature and every season of life. Know that there’s a time for everything and that means so much more when you live with intention.
May the magic and teachings of each season heal and nurture your universe.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 KJV: To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
Here we are in June, and many things to look back on already.
This time of year is full of reflection as a new season literally blooms all around.
Important dates commemorated; Mental Health Awareness Month and Mother’s Day in May, and Father’s Day, Juneteenth, and Pride Month in June, (to name a few) give much to reflect on and celebrate.
Spring will lead into summer and hotter weather gives way to miserable temperatures for some, and a positive boost in mood for others.
Nonetheless, we are halfway through the year marking a checkpoint of sorts for goals accomplished, intentions surrounding these and what’s to come!
Personally, I find it important to take one day and each moment at a time to curve feelings of being overwhelmed. Equally, I find goal setting to be like important mile markers as I navigate through life.
As mentioned in previous posts, I’m a single parent suffering from fibromyalgia and anxiety. Having a roadmap through each season of life in the form of goals and intentions offers a sense of focus and direction where at times I feel none. Not to mention, goals and intentions can foster new behaviors and build positive momentum. I’ve found this to be significant in managing bouts of depression and self-doubt. The roadmap of intentions and goals, is a guide, not a rule book so to speak.
When intentions and goals haven’t panned out, the most important thing I have exercised is my ability to pivot. Being a creature of habit and high accountability, I take it very hard when things don’t turn out quite as planned. However, those pitstops have become opportunity for reflection. Having those deeper conversations with myself about all possibilities and being flexible with timelines and goals makes it easier to bounce back into the momentum. Relinquishing control is liberating and having a plan that is pliable freeing. Know that like much else, it will take intention.
In no particular order, I’ll share that my current goals focus on
building my skillsets at work and in life
sustaining and improving the quality of work/life balance
prioritizing my overall health
strengthening the relationship with myself and my closest loved ones
My goals support my intentions for happiness, fulfillment, balance, security and satisfaction. Inversely, my daily intentions support my short and long-term goals.
Working on some small DIY home projects and picking up online learning while connecting with mentors has been my strategy for aligning to the goal of building skillsets.
Scheduling out each day as best as possible while leaving room for flexibility in my calendar allows for continuous improvement of work/life balance.
I recently switched my nutrition even further and actively engaged resources available to me through my insurance provider that help with my overall health.
When it comes to relationships, the one with myself is the most important so that I can pour from abundance. Encouraging and guiding others while simply checking in and being there for my loved ones consistently is one of my goals for meaningful relationships.
So here’s to the season ahead! I hope you have wonderful goals you are after and intentions that have turned into mantras.
May all things little and big mark moments of achievement, intentions fulfilled and goals attained.
“By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands—your own.” – Mark Victor Hansen
“I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.” – Diane Ackerman
“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela
When I started blogging, I was in my thirties and going through the most health changes I’d experienced since childhood. I had a hysterectomy, oral surgery, ankle and Achilles surgery. Not to forget, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.
Now in my forties, I can sincerely say, I’ve learned so much about myself and my body.
That season after my third (and last) child at 30 through 40, took a lot and gave me much. I often mention that I’m in thoughtful pursuit of my north because I love and need personal growth. That decade, probably the hardest of my life so far forced me to stop and listen. I was missing a big lesson and learned the hard way. Everything was go, go, go with children, marriage and a full-time job. The Universe, however, had greater plans and I look back with sincere appreciation. You know the saying, “things could’ve been worse”? Well, they most certainly could’ve which is quite humbling.
The biggest takeaway was how much I was abandoning myself. All this led to changes and I began leaning into the challenges and embraced caring for my total self without feeling guilt. This meant intentionally caring for my changing body and evolving soul. Listening more and paying more attention uncovered different layers of my state of being. As I tuned in, I started to feel better.
Now, I feel more in-tune with my authentic self. If this is what “growing old gracefully” means, I’m in! I won’t sit here and say that everything is always peachy. However, there’s a sense now of being more connected and less attached, so to speak, and that must count for something.
Honestly, the hardest part is still staying disciplined and consistent in doing things I tend to put off “for later”.
Insert, self-care.
Self-care is defined as the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress. I failed so many times in the past to do just that. Life taught me what it looked like when I didn’t give self-care the importance it deserved.
In this post, I simply want to share how I do self-care at fortysomething. Here’s some insight into what is working for me.
Wellness – Make routine check-ups and medical appointments a priority. Don’t wait by putting the needs of your body and mind to the side like another chore. From eye exams to dental and annual physicals make the appointment! I try taking the day off from everything to focus on a “health day” be it with a doctor or therapist.
Writing – Need I say more? I’ve always been passionate about writing and self-expression. Communicating is important to me and writing allows me to channel my thoughts and feelings. It’s cathartic and to me a form of self-care.
Meditation/Frequency/Prayer – Whatever your preference, making time daily to pause and connect with your body and soul is necessary. I find strength and respite in all three. Breathe deeply and release things that weigh on you. Relinquish what is out of your control and recharge. I like sound frequency particularly for insomnia and inflammation in the body.
Nourishment – Eating is huge for me as I think food is my love language. I enjoy cooking a recipe I’m excited about and researching how to make healthy versions of my guilty pleasures. Like most, I love sharing a meal with a loved one but, I equally love the ever-important solo dates. Nourishment comes in many forms and this list is truly about nourishing every part of yourself. If you believe that you are what you eat, and what you put in is what you get out, nourishment is paramount in self-caring.
Walking – Daily outdoor walks with my dog is so therapeutic and necessary. The connection with him gives me something routine to look forward to that helps us both decompress and connect with nature. Staying active in general is necessary so if walking your furry friend is not an option, yoga, cycling, Pilates or rowing may be worth looking into.
Beauty – I mentioned in other posts the connection with beauty rituals and a personal sense of well-being. I strongly believe that if you look good, you feel even better. Beyond the routine manicure and pedi, some of my musts are routine facials, a professional therapeutic massage whenever possible, a daily dose of collagen in my coffee and skincare that is made for maturing skin.
Cleaning – This may sound counterintuitive to caring for yourself and trust me, I very much dislike chores. However, I highly recommend decluttering your environment and keeping a healthy supply of cleaning tools and products handy that make tasks manageable and enjoyable. A light, airy, clean, and organized environment does wonders for the body and spirit!
Shop – I mean why not? I’m not saying blow your savings, but retail therapy can be fun, motivating and satisfying in moderation. I like to be practical whilst throwing in the occasional want versus need. Estate sales, thrifting, online marketplaces and even the grocery store can be great ways to shop mindfully. So go pick up a new signature scent or a new pair of sneakers you know you’ll need! Nurturers, we need to be kind and thoughtful with ourselves too.
Grow – I don’t just mean grow as in gardening. Though I could write a whole post about the wonders of gardening! I mean grow as in evolving with a sense of reassurance and perspective. Each decade may come with a new vision for the years ahead and should have you in search of continuous improvement. Growth is essential for the human spirit! One of my all-time favorite books is Stephen R. Covey’s, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It’s a timeless resource in my opinion and one of the habits I sincerely live by is Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw®, which is increase motivation, energy, and work/life balance by making time for renewing activities. We are truly in the era of keeping ourselves sharp with many ways to attain all the things the seventh habit encompasses. Picking up a new craft or hobby, DIYing, reading, or drawing can be fulfilling. You may pick up a new fitness class or any number of online courses to keep yourself sharp! You might even find you can tap into an income source through a newly found passion. Growing as an individual is a quintessential act of self-caring and self-love.
There are so many favorites I can break down and really unpack within each area of self-care I practice. In a future post, we may do just that. For now, I welcome you to check out my curated faves on Pinterest.
My wish for you, for us…(no matter which season of life) is that the relationship with self becomes the most loving and most meaningful we nurture and sustain.
Keep reading for some of my favorite quotes on Self-Care.
“Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.”-Eleanor Brown
“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.” -Audre Lorde
“Self-care is never a selfish act – it is only good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others.” – Parker J. Palmer
“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.” -Maya Angelou
“With every act of self-care your authentic self gets stronger, and the critical, fearful mind gets weaker. Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side, I am on my side, each day I am more and more on my own side.” -Susan Weiss Berry
I thought it appropriate to pick up my blog where I left off over 7 years ago freshly into a fibromyalgia diagnosis. For clarity, fibromyalgia as defined by Mayo Clinic is ‘a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory, and mood issues.’
For me, I believe there were several factors that set off fibromyalgia and being in a car accident, an unhealthy relationship and suffering from other health issues were contributing factors.
Fast forward here are some updates.
If you haven’t read my original post on Fighting Fibro Fabulously, please do! It will shed some perspective on how I have managed this disorder for almost a decade in a state of feeling, dare I say, fabulous! Is every day full of fabulousness, absolutely not! But read on for practical information on how I live well with fibro.
I am not a medical professional, nor do I provide medical advice via my posts. Simply, I want to share my personal experience with managing fibromyalgia symptoms daily.
Every day, I awake and will continue to wake up with this condition for the rest of my life. I planned then and I continue to plan now on living a balanced and fruitful life despite fibromyalgia. Therefore, you will find me here sharing what has worked with my symptoms. I’ll continue to share tried and true recommendations as a person who was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in her thirties living her best life in her forties.
In my original post, I shared everything from tips to rituals, web links and even my Pinterest board with information I personally found useful. My doctor then gave me the best advice which was to learn as much as I could about fibromyalgia.
These days, I am so proud and thankful that I wrote that post. Not much has changed to my heart and souls satisfaction. I am currently taking OTC ibuprofen or a migraine specific pain reliever as needed. I found that Gabapentin worked best for me when it came to prescribed medication. Happily, I can’t even remember the last time I had a prescription filled. That’s not to say I won’t take/get a prescribed medication if needed. This is not to suggest you need to be off your medication(s) or prescribed care. Keep in mind this information is based on my own experience with fibromyalgia. Following a treatment plan designed for your specific symptoms is key!
Massages (and facials) are still part of my rituals. I love facials and massages as they do a lot for my physical and emotional well-being. I try to have them often and highly recommend finding a local therapist that understands fibromyalgia trigger points. Having a professional massage can help stiff joints, sore muscles, inflammation and overactive nerves. For me, routine massages have been paramount to my management of flare-ups.
Human connections with professionals who treat fibromyalgia, support from family and friends is also important for long-term care.
I say this because I had to inevitably, cut out people from my life that were unhealthy and therefore, toxic to me and the fibro. If you believe we are all energy, and everything around us emits some sort of energy, consider quiet time, self-care and healthy boundaries as part of your wellness plan.
Some things I found that have been wonderful for alleviating my inflammation and swelling are drinking fresh ginger and turmeric pressed juice shots. These can be found in the refrigerated section of most grocery stores or you can make them yourself. Having pineapple peel tea is great and I will share information about it below.
Believe it or not, those detoxing foot pads that used to come on TV infomercials help with my ankles, calves and knees when I am have aching and swelling. Some people have found no benefits from these at all. I have found they help alleviate restlessness and swelling in my legs. Huge tender points for me are my ankles, knees, wrists, shoulders and hips to name a few.
We hear this all the time and you have to hydrate and drink lots of water. I particularly find alkaline water and sports drinks with electrolytes and low sugar are my favorite.
As far as foods are concerned, limiting sugar and carbs overall. Generally, foods with gluten certainly mark the difference in bloating, swelling and fibro flare-ups. Dishes that include turmeric, ginger and even carrots all seem to alleviate digestive ailments and my inflammation. I am still adding a collagen powder to my morning coffee and currently taking a supplement called, Fibralgia.
Movement is important for managing fibromyalgia symptoms. Stretching, walking, and low impact exercise are my preference. Light weights you can find almost anywhere these days are a great option. I recently purchased a rowing machine which is my favorite piece of equipment right now. I recommend slowly building resistance, start with few reps and going super easy on the joints to build tolerance.
Lastly, I’ll add that listening to frequency and meditation help with insomnia, restlessness, anxiety and brain fog.
All in all, I would say that the managing of my fibromyalgia symptoms goes like this:
Detox– Massage therapy, drink tea and stay hydrated. Foot detox pads and light-moderate exercise. Manage who you surround yourself with! Detox your body and your soul. Your fibromyalgia will thank you.
Nourish– I watch what I eat. It’s that simple. I don’t deprive myself because I do find comfort in food. Be mindful of what is in the food. Stay hydrated and take supplements that include magnesium. Add a collagen protein powder to your fave drink. Foods with ginger and turmeric are diet staples.
Exercise– Low impact exercise like walking, rowing and stretching as with yoga or Pilates.
Soothe– Over the counter pain reliever such as Ibuprofen and of course don’t discard the basics, like the occasional warm bath to help soothe flare-ups. There are some really good sound frequency and meditations out there for soothing relief.
Heal– Striving for some manageable goals allows for the micro-wins that sustain the healing journey. Celebrate the small successes you’ve planned out for yourself and achieved. Even if that is just getting out of bed 3 days in a row! Try to create rituals or routines. Having some sort of a constant with a disorder that you cannot control can make a difference. Pivot and remain flexible in your health goals and wellness journey.
In summation, the best thing I can share from my own experience is try “learning” your fibromyalgia and listen to your body. It takes effort and intention and it will be so worth it! Find support in the people and things that align with your entire being.
Fabulous can be defined as something extraordinary. If you have fibromyalgia, it may not be your adjective of choice to describe life with this disorder. However, I am blessed to be here living a pretty balanced life, blogging about it and also working a full-time job close to a decade since diagnosis. It will be a continuum and a priority to be intentional about the quality of life I want live with fibromyalgia. That in itself is fab and extraordinary to me. You are fabulous and extraordinary. I hope you find some comfort and insight from my story.
Am I the only one who would’ve been in a completely different reality had I kept up my blogging since 2016?
Well, I didn’t. However, nothing says comeback like 7 years of life changes to snap me back into self.
Tell me if you’ve heard this one before. I’ve been through seven years of everything from divorce, career change, selling a house, buying a house, love, loss and everything in between.
All that to say, I am back to blogging and finding the most balance at 44 years old that I can remember in decades.
I want to share so much about what has happened (most importantly) what I learned, the things I am still learning and how I got here.
Stay tuned for more on my new blog and site, figs_andnorthave.com.
I gave your wings feathers and breathed air into your life so you could fly. Now you are so high you look down and think how little the World seems to you. Too little, cramped beneath you and your style. But what goes up will come down and then and only then will you see that time passed while you were away. Things that seemed small were bigger than you and you didn’t see them while you were up there because you were looking down. -LipglossedLeo
I am just me, no filters…only a lioness in her den. I am the Queen of my castle and will always be. Holding it down for my cubs and me. Been making lemonade for 18 years but, Gods grace is like milk and honey. This is my tea party bitch. You are just a guest. -LipglossedLeo
Far too often as I am looking within, I find myself getting lost in the myriad of emotions of the daily grind.
I wonder if it is frustration, boredom or the fibro foggy brain but no matter what the culprit, I am determined to bring back long term joy in my life.
It’s easy with the confabulation in social media and television these days to get your mind all in a wad. We all know the correlation between what we perceive and our emotions so why can’t everyday be a joy if mind is over matter?
For me, as I navigate the waters of self employment, motherhood and thirty-something, I realized the odds are not necessarily in my favor. What is in my favor is my determination that derives from my deepest human desire to live out what my faith says about me. The Lord, my Creator, wants me to live an abundant and loving life and that I shall live it fully. What the world says about how I should live is pretty much the opposite and that’s why we struggle so hard to find joy in our lives. It doesn’t take a miracle, it takes intention.
My first endeavor is to connect daily with the things that fulfill and don’t take away from me. Gardening and reading are two of those things. While some people rely on other external and less geeky things like the upcoming episode of Empire or binge watching on Netflix, those are guilty pleasures. Those pleasures are like a fabulous cocktail, its emotional provisions are fleeting. This takes me back to why too often we find the grind unbearable and daunting. We can’t seem to find “great happiness” anywhere for a substantial amount of time. Merriam Webster dictionary defines JOY as
: a feeling of great happiness
: success in doing, finding, or getting something
So how do we do it?
How does one find lasting joy?
I believe the first order of things is to come to an understanding and develop a relationship with your Creator. Knowing where you came from, what you believe in and who loves you is a basis for finding yourself and ultimately your happiness.
Secondly, I won’t tell you to give up all of your guilty pleasures, but I will tell you it is wise to limit your choices and the amount of time that you invest in these as it is crucial to finding genuine happiness in life. See a guilty pleasure is just that, something that you simply don’t get anything out of it. It is an empty relationship. I love to surf Pinterest and catch up with the latest Tweets, however, limits and choices are key! You don’t want to spend unreasonable time and precious energy on things that are fleeting and one sided, ever. That includes relationships and jobs. For example, gardening gives me a physical and spiritual well being. I connect with the earth and it in turn supplies food, energy and respite. Reading inspires me, educates and in turn, I share feedback with the author and my findings with those willing to listen.
Lastly, research your archive of anecdotes. Those meaningful times and things that pull at your heart strings. Whether it’s creating, volunteering, meditating, exercising or baking…find your joy! Joy keeps us going. It impacts our existence, connections and footprint.
May the framework of your legacy and mine be JOY and I leave you with an excerpt from the book, The Law of Divine Compensation by author Marianne Williamson;
“In summation, there are four rules for miraculous work creation: Be positive. Send love. Have fun. Kick ass. Amen.”
On my previous post, I talked about being diagnosed with several health concerns among which my primary physician at the time, an internal medicine doctor found I had fibromyalgia. I had been in the emergency room which is how I found this doctor, purely by chance. He was highly recommended and he did do a good job ruling out everything else before making a diagnosis. That was almost 2 years ago and since, I’ve made it my mission to find out everything that I could about this illness and how I can live with it and be who I used to be. My doctor then said to me (and he was right) “the first thing I want you to do is research everything you can about Fibromyalgia.” Yes, he gave me homework. Amidst all of my pain, anxiety and confusion he said “fibromyalgia is not curable and you need to learn to live with it.”
I was dealing with other health issues and taking it all in seemed impossible. I was later diagnosed with having spinal stenosis which is simply put, arthritis of the spine. I also had fibroid tumors, at least one the size of a tennis ball. My doctor’s main concern, however, was that I had severe anemia. My iron levels were so low, he considered a blood transfusion and I had some decisions to make. The first thing I told my doctors is that I did not like taking painkillers. I refused to live drugged up because I had a full-time job as a personal banker, I am the mother of three young girls and my life had to go on.
The reason I write my doctors “then” is because I had to see more than one doctor as I had more than one issue going on at the time. I use “then” in the past tense because I NO longer see any doctors.
Please read on because I am not selling you anything and I am not promoting anything. I am just documenting and sharing with you how I became my own guinea pig to help myself live with fibromyalgia.
Some of the links I will share are resources that I legitimately read or followed and engaged at some point in my desperate pursuit of options, tools and answers. I am not a doctor so please, use these as a guide to help on your own pursuit.
Medication
One of the things my doctor prescribed was a serotonin uptake inhibitor to help me with my anxiety, stress and depression. I also had panic attacks often and at one point, my husband had to take me to a doctor in tears hardly moving and gasping for air after retrieving me from my office because I was having a sort of breakdown. At that point, I was prescribed Valium. Now, while some people might like to a ride on the Great Space Coaster, (respectfully) I do not. I felt my life slipping out of my hands. I was alive but barely there. There was no thriving. There was no enjoyment. There was only pain, sadness and confusion as a sidecar to this cocktail of supposed relief. Other medicines I was taking were Gabapentin and Tizanidine. These were medicines to help me sleep and to relax my overactive nerves and muscles spasms. In addition, I was getting steroidal injections in my spine, hip and joints with the most pain. This was my treatment for more than a year. I’d had enough.
Detoxing
While I won’t say that I did not appreciate the temporary relief that I got time after time from those medications, the side effects were making me the most depressed I had ever been. I knew when I started getting thoughts that my life was meaningless, that I should probably end it and that I was never going to get better that something had to change or I was gonna die this way. Detoxing my soul and my body became my priority. My detoxing started with what I ate and what I drink because those were things that I had to do anyway, exercise was hardly on my agenda. If you have fibro getting out of bed is a feat…exercise is not even an option. Besides, at that point I had gained so much weight I was very reluctant to work out because I knew it was gonna be a tough battle. I would get back to that at some point, I had to. Movement and warmth are two things that I noticed that fibromyalgia loves and needs. I’ll get to those later. I started detoxing by reading everything that I could about removing toxins from the body. I was almost sure that if I was able to remove the toxins I had accumulated from medication, stress and the environment out of my body, I would then be in a better place to do exercise. I love Dr. Pepper and coffee but those were two things that I had to control. While I have quit soda and sugary, caffeinated drinks from my diet, coffee is a work in progress. I had to do it little by little so I started to look for teas that I could turn into a cold drink or a tonic that I would be motivated to drink. I also incorporated an apple cider vinegar detoxing drink that helped me lose weight and cleanse my body. How’s that for a cocktail with a side of awesome! However, it is not enough to detox your body from the inside alone. I mean when you’ve got fibromyalgia, you can use all the help that you can get! I found there were some beauty rituals that did the deed. That was exciting to me because I had long-lost beauty regimens to pain and hopelessness. I found that dry brushing my skin helped detox the lymph nodes and taking baths with ginger, turmeric and bentonite clay was a God send. I noticed how uplifted and comfortable I felt after a warm bath or after having made a mask with the clay and some essential oils. The rituals were working! They changed my whole state of being not only because I was doing something wholesome for my body, the regimens made me feel (and look) good. I had finally had some level of control over the onslaught of symptoms.
Fibro can be very sensitive to scents and some people have found that their sense of smell is heightened and can even stimulate a flareup, so choose your essential oils wisely. I prefer lavender of course. Lemon, orange scented oils and clove are in my arsenal as well. If you suffer with fibromyalgia, consider if possible detoxing your body. I detox the inside and the outside which helped me leave behind all medication I was taking and set the stage for more wins!
Nourish
I love this word nourish don’t you? I believe a huge part of living with fibromyalgia is learning to care for and nourish yourself. There is no one who can understand how you feel and what you’re truly going through unless they have fibro as well. That’s not to say that those around you should not or will not make an effort to be as empathetic and sympathetic as possible. However, it is you that has to lead by example. If it is necessary, make a mantra for yourself that is going to help lift you out of the pits of despair when you’re feeling at your lowest. Nourishing myself and caring for me became a practice daily in every moment, in every way. I had to truly think deeply about what I was going to eat. We should all be eating mindfully but eating the wrong things with fibromyalgia can be the difference between a flare-up or a good day.
Remember you get out of your body what you put into it and if you want to be strong enough to exercise, to go out, to look good, to work, than you have to eat a well-balanced and healthy diet. That applies to everyone and fibro sufferers are no exception. I know you’ve heard that time and time again and while I still have my chocolate cake, I make sure that I eat as many organic protein, fruits and vegetables as I can. Think Paleo or even Vegetarian diet. Fibromyalgia is unique to each person who has this illness so while I want you to eat healthy, I want you to eat happy. Food can be comforting so yes, have your burger and mac & cheese. Try to make your own versions that are healthy and inspiring. When you have fibromyalgia you feel like you lose control and coming up with healthy recipes or researching some of your own based on your likes and dislikes is a way to take back control and nourish yourself.
You’re probably wondering how I’m able to deal with my fibromyalgia symptoms and not take pills or have injections. The answer to that is mostly due to detoxing, nourishing and I’ve added supplements. In short, controlling what I can control. Fibromyalgia like much else is a balancing act.
For example, I was always a great sleeper. My mom used to joke that I would go with her to visit family or friends as a child and I would fall asleep under their tables or just about anywhere! My husband was always jealous that I could sleep during the day like I was a bear in hibernation. You can imagine how nerve-racking and depressing it is to have so much pain that you can’t sleep at night for a natural sleepyhead like me. One thing I did is that I make sure that I reset my body’s clock to wake and sleep mode again. This is still a work in progress. I take melatonin and have a cup of warm tea to get my body to consciously and subconsciously recognize where I am in the day. When I need that burst of energy which is every single day in the morning I recognize that having a good dose of vitamins in my system is crucial. Some people who don’t have a chronic illness may not need to exercise every single day. They may not need to take vitamins every single day or scrutinize every single activity in their daily lives. God bless them! That’s a blessing many take for granted. We are going to celebrate and embrace the challenge. I recommend that if you have fibromyalgia you make at least an effort to have a conscious regimen. What I mean by that is that I don’t want you to get stressed out over every detail of your day but, I do want you to consciously and purposefully live your days knowing what you need to get you to the next step. I love taking a B 12 vitamin complex with vitamin D to give me that healthy boost of energy that I need. I take two doses of these in the day along with magnesium. I have tried-and-true methods that help me make gradual steps of awareness when I am too tired or too weak to do what I “want” to do. That is when you stop and become aware of what you need to do to carry through and being tuned into your limits.
Excercises
I know exercise sucks. There I said it. There are some people who love working out and they are addicted to it blah blah blah, blessings to them! Fibromyalgia needs movement. If you can still have a decent workout routine with fibro you are my hero!! If you don’t or you have gained weight in an unprecedented way like I had from the steroid injections and medication then a balance ball is your new friend. I purchased one of those huge bouncy balls with the workout DVD in it and little by little started to stretch on it and follow some of the tips and exercises on the DVD and it helped me tremendously. I also have a stationary bike and treadmill but you don’t have to have these to do the exercises that will bring benefits to you. Relief from exercise can come from yoga, tai chi or simply a walk outdoors. There are really light weights that you can buy to help you do some strength training and please ask your physician what would be the best for you. Each person’s resistance, skill level and tolerance is different and as unique as fibromyalgia. I recommend that you do exercises that help you stretch and strengthen your body. If you were able to work out enough to break out into a sweat by God you’ve hit the jackpot because you will be detoxing as well.
Soothe
Ahhhhhh. I love soothe that word is part of my genetic make up I swear! When you detox, when you wean yourself off medicine or even if you’re on medicine, if you work or you can’t work. If you exercise or you don’t, soothe is something for everyone living with fibromyalgia. The word soothe means: to calm or placate something and if you have any or all of the array of symptoms fibromyalgia brings to your life, trust me, soothe and placate are it!
Things that are soothing to me and keep me balanced, in control, that help me calm down and placate some of my symptoms are getting a massage, meditating and reading. For you it might be different. Look for those things that bring you peace and calm. Praying, watching a movie or listening to music may be your way to soothe. Coloring, drawing or just being still may be your thing. Your ultimate goal with fibromyalgia is to soothe your mind your, body and your soul. You might find your inner peace by changing those who you surround yourself with. Read that last line again.
You might end up finding it in writing, photography, or crafting. Whatever your peace is, that is what will soothe you time and time again.
Heal
Finally, nothing says I want to live a healthy life like actively looking for healing. You have to want it!
If you had a broken ankle (which I have had by the way), rash or a broken heart (I’ve had those too) you look for healing right? Healing comes from many sources but your best medicine is You. Think of autoimmune diseases and how people living with those diseases live. If you want to truly live a fulfilled and purposeful life with a chronic illness like fibromyalgia, you have to make a conscious effort to visualize yourself better. Go after it! I know how hard it is to do, to grasp the reality of taking charge of your circumstance with such a tough disease like fibromyalgia but, you can do it. The reason I know you can do it is because I’m doing it now, every day. I consciously make an effort to learn more and to do more. Whether it’s through a book that teaches me how to self-help or through the Bible that fills me with encouragement. You might decide at some point that you want to replace all of the negative things in your life with positive ones whether that’s changing your job, ending a relationship or breaking old habits. I currently use self help hypnosis methods for example and a visualization board to continually manifest the good things that I deserve in my life. It is an act of materializing those things through action. I deserve to be more than what fibromyalgia can make of me. I want to live my life fabulouslyand I want the same for you.
I believe in my heart that God doesn’t make mistakes. So I wish you a lifetime of balance, peace, joy and comfort as you fight fibro fabulously!
Ooofff, I know it’s been a little bit right? I wish I could say I was being lazy or living my fab life but no.
I have been sick, operated on, quit my job, get on medication got off it, etc. you know… life happened. I am not going to get into the details of what I have been through just yet. I can tell you, I never imagined at 38, I would have had a hysterctomy, fibromyalgia and spinal stenosis diagnosis all rolled in one! (Oh Snap, that rhymed a little)
Now, the great news. I am resuming my blog, started my own business and found a new church. See… Life has it’s many seasons and I am just living the simple life embracing it all. Yes, I am putting it all out there so if you have a question about any of the mentioned, I’d be happy to help. I am a real gal going through real things just like you.
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